We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
