just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
zippers are such a cool invention
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
