I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
