I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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