Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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