3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
