Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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