i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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