party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.