Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
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So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
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Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.