I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going