Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
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Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
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She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.