Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there