i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
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he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?