you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
