They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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