I got chris browned last night
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
