Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize