Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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