I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
