I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
