and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
