I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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