Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
