hell yes lets make some ravioli
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
