There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
