I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
