guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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