Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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