Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
