White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
