i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize