so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
