There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
