Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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