so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
