we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
