i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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