yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
