Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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