he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize