My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
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he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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