guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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