i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
