So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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