i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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