best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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