Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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