Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
