Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
