You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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