Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
