hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
