Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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