the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
