I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
