Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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