mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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