I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
