my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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