we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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