I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
