No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
