I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize