bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
