Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
