I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
