I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
50% drunk capacity currently
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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