You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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