my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He felt like a one man threesome
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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