Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
