she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
