i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The uberlube is also flammable
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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